On August 28th, I’ll be turn 25. For some reason, that seems like a milestone. So I want to do something epic to celebrate. But I can’t do it alone. This summer, I want to film 25 Acts of Hilarity. After all, what’s more kind than making people laugh? But I’ll need a little help from my friends (that’s you).

Whether it be eating birthday cake with homeless people or taking a pinata shaped like myself to a random park and letting little ones beat the shit out of me, I don’t want to do any of these Random Acts of Hilarity alone. So.. Who wants to join me in spreading the cheer for my 25th Birthday? Send an e-mail to ally[at]ilaughedatthecrippledgirl[dot]com saying how we could spread the Hilarity and I’ll choose 25 of you awesome folks or groups of folks to take out into the world and help me make strangers smirk.

Maybe it’s just the mid-life crisis of a crippled girl, but I want this summer to one to remember. I can’t wait to hear what you studs come up with!

~Ally

The last time I celebrated my birthday.. Can you guess which one it was?

~Ally

During the whole ‘crippled court case’ ordeal, reporters had to have the word pried off their tongue. Before every segment, an anchor would preface the story by insisting, “These are HER words..” I think I’ve heard ‘crippled’ more on the news these past few days than I’ve said it in my entire life!

Am I upset that they’re using it? Hell no! If anything, I’m glad to see it used in a report that isn’t about me. What annoys me is the hypocrisy. If you don’t have the balls to willingly say the word in a positive context about someone trying to make a difference in the world, don’t use it in reference to an inanimate object.

The headlines would be much more epic if they used the word in the way my revised definition intends to..

Crippled (adj.) /ˈkripəld/ : Something so awesome, it’s debilitating. Opposite of ‘lame’.

~Ally

I’ve often heard the phrase “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. While I believe the intentions of that quote come from the kindest of hearts, it isn’t clearly expressed. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but rather the heart; for beauty is not a sight, but instead it is an experience. It is a characteristic that radiates from the soul outwards.

People often try to classify inner versus outer beauty. This is something I have never understood. Call me naive, but I don’t think one can be truly beautiful on the outside unless they maintain some level of beauty beneath the skin. Other words are much more fitting for an outward physical attractiveness. Without those physical confines, beauty has a much deeper meaning.

Far too many think of beauty as a physical description. Some of the most beautiful things surrounding us have no physical self. We cannot not see it. We cannot touch it. But when something is truly beautiful, we can feel it. It is because of this that words, music, and even thoughts can be considered beautiful. It is the feeling that they give to us, not those they consciously convey,  that deems them as such.

It is very difficult to attempt to apply a definition to this word. Over the years the true meaning of beauty has been skewed by the superficial cesspool that our society has attempted to drown everyone in.

~Ally

November 7: Clash of the Comics – Funny Bone – Newport, KY – 8pm
E-mail me at AllyBruener@gmail.com for a special discount e-ticket!

November 10:  Hamilton Little Blue Football Fundraiser  - Booker T. Washington Center – Hamilton, OH – 8pm
(See flier below for more details)

November 21: Judee Brown’s WOW Comedy Night- Funny Bone – Newport, KY – 8pm
(See flier below for more details)

Can’t wait to see all your pretty faces in the audience!  Don’t see a show coming up in your area? Comment and let me know where you’d like to see me next!

~Ally

An added bonus:

After meeting someone very special to me many months ago and after far too many Harry Potter references went straight over my head, he took it upon himself to immerse me into this land of wizardry. Upon returning to my family abode in Northern Kentucky after a week in Louisville, I find this large Barnes & Noble package sitting on my couch:

What could it be? Only the most gloriously crafted set of books I could ever imagine..

I felt the need to wash my hands and wear white gloves while touching them.. They were that beautiful. I had finally been convinced to read them. If these books meant that much to a very special someone to motivate them to surprise me with the entire series, I must give them a chance. So… Read them, I shall..

But I’m a comedian.. I can’t JUST read them. I must share my experiences with the world. As I read (and eventually watch the movies), I will tweet my commentary with hashtag #HarryPotterVirgin. Follow me on twitter @BRUEapilsNER for the latest on where I am in the series. Since I want to actually enjoy the books, I’ll only post tweets at the end of each chapter.

Here we go….

~Ally

June 26th – Bloomington, IN – Max’s Place – Ladies Night – 8pm – $4, FREE for ladies (see flyer below for more info)

July 5th – Dayton, OH – Wiley’s Comedy Niteclub – Fireworks Competition – 8pm – $3

July 14th – Louisville, KY – The Bard’s Town – No Balls of Meat, All-Female Comedy Contest – 8pm – $7

July 19th – Cincinnati, OH – America Live – 8pm – More details coming SOON!

July 24th – Cincinnati, OH – Go Bananas – Women Writing for Change Benefit – 8pm

July 25th – Cincinnati, OH – Go Bananas - Funniest Person in Cincinnati Semi-Finals – 8pm – $5 (make reservations NOW)

Before I roll out of here, I also have to share another exciting opportunity I’ve been asked to be a part of. Getting back to my academic roots, I am honored to get to return to Bellarmine University to speak in front of one of the Governor’s Scholars Program (GSP) classes on Thursday. For those of you who aren’t from around here or don’t know what GSP is, it’s a 5 week program at three universities around Kentucky where high school seniors live, eat and breathe awesomenesss. That’s a horrible description, but I was a scholar at Bellarmine in 2005 and it was the best summer of my life. Had it not been for GSP, I never would have moved away to Louisville for college. So getting to return for a day and speak to a bunch of 17 year olds about comedy is going to be an amazing experience. On a scale of 1-10, my life is pretty crippled.

~Ally

Cincinnati Enquirer

700 WLW with Scott Sloan

Local 12

USA Today

The Cincinnati Beacon

Connected Comedy Podcast (can’t believe I forgot to add this one! This podcast was the first public discussion of the event)

Get in Mah Belly (Blog)

Gather.com

APP.com .. They’re talking about us in Jersey apparently

And for the sake of being impartial to my own case, here is someone who disagrees: Gary Presley’s Blog

~Ally

I want to begin by sending out a grand “Thank you” to everyone who has been so liberal with their kind words and support. You’re the ones who let me know I am doing something right.

With that being said, I never have nor will I ever shy away from controversy. Changes aren’t made by those who do things by the book. Minds aren’t changed by repeating the doldrums of your utopia until somebody takes a listen. It’s time to turn up the world’s hearing aid so loud that we cannot be ignored. My methods of influencing change are far from conventional, I will never deny that nor will I shy away from the criticism.

As any normal human would, since the most of the article about Forest’s arrest on Cincinnati.com, I have kept an eye on the comment section. I am amazed by the ignorance and judgement of some people. It’s to the point of nearly being amusing and quite possibly making it into my act.

What baffles me the most are the folks who insist that the sole reason I do this is because I am insecure. Really? Because I thought I did it because I think my life is freaking hilarious and like to give others a good laugh. If there’s anything I’m insecure about it’s the fact that when I have a crooked pinky toe, but even I can find humor in that. Instead of passing judgement, take the time to listen to what I am trying to do. Had you not jumped to conclusions based on YOUR OWN insecurities, you would see that I am embraced by the majority of the disabled community. The people who don’t like me are the ones who sit back and wait for an excuse to take offense so they have a reason to be mad at the world. If it makes your life easier to hate me, I beg you to continue doing so; but if you’re able to make light of a seemingly-heavy situation, or at least appreciate someone who does, the world can be a beautiful place for you and those around you. There are few things that bother me more than being told I promote a negative image of disabled people. While I will never take that to heart because I have seen proof of the contrary, I can’t help but feel sorry for the people who truly feel this way.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, you grant the rest of the world permission to do so.

Ally

PS – If you’re confused as to what this is all about, take a gander HERE